Kind of it takes a village/ward to raise a child philosophy. That bishop that moved his ward away from elaborate gifting was doing the right thing. And that concludes the story of how NewlyHousewife learned not to attend church on Mothers Day. We can all sound harsh at times, but this seems to be a community of sorts and following through on the different dicussions helps put context to opinions expressed. Last year, I gave this talk. "I am a sociopathic perverted mess emotionally and mentally thanks to the influence of my insane codependent mother.'". Over the years, Ive heard some very good Mothers Day talks, but I have also heard some that were cringe-worthy. http://mormonartist.net/2012/02/day-three-jeanna-stay/. Again, its about building testimony and gaining faith. Gospel Q&A: Do We Really Have the Spirit With Us All the Time? THAT is what non-denominational Christian churches do :). Ugh. Alece, I have to go home right after Sacrament meeting, because the Sisters all bring their flowers with them to the other meetings. Really perfect for MD! The primaries (100 of them? The bad ones tend to deal withthe big generalities, praisingmotherhood without even pausing to define whether we are speaking of women who have given birth, or womanhood in general. 30 Inspiring LDS Quotes About Mothers & Motherhood, Church Leaders Honor Mothers Over the Holiday Weekend, Church Releases Tribute to Mothers, You Are Enough, FREE Happy Mothers Day Coloring Page Printable, The Family is a Divine Blessing | 6 March 2023, Come Follow Me Recap Thy Faith Hath Saved Thee | 5 March 2023, Miracles Come Through Fasting | 4 March 2023, Young Latter-day Saint Missionary Passes Away in Georgia, 5 Things You Didnt Know About the Day the LDS Church Was Organized. Is it apeople incapable of focusing on the joy of others? I know I dont have any say on when the thread closes, but it would be interesting to hear feedback from how each persons respective wards handled MD, and how the people assigned to talk felt their messages were delivered and/or received. I gave a MD talk one year and focused on Emma Smith, Naomi the MIL of Ruth and my daughter who was a young mother at the time. A day focused on mothers is hard enough for many women, and much more so when thats all they hear about at church. What if you brought in padded RS chairs for the YW & PRI workers, including Nursery sisters, so that they can feel a little comfort on that Sunday? I am not sure what other words I can use to convey my meaning when I rely so heavily on tone. Our head count was 85 sisters which is super for us. In preparation for the sacrament each week, Church members take time to examine their lives and repent of sins. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. Talking to other grownups while nice doesnt belong in 3rd hour. If my kids are with me on MD I go, but FD is just too painful. Not using individual's names, I told stories of selfless service performed by sisters in our ward that I had observed during my time as bishop. It is even worse when women are so enthused with Father's Day that they want to ignore it completely - as in absolutely not mention it. Crowd-sourcing request. Ere the sun goes down, When we speak of mothers as people who are incapable of gross sin, they know we are lying. Required fields are marked *. The talks are mostly bearable (though no picnic), but the worst is when the youth would spread out in search of women who were not holding whatever flower or chocolate. Love your mother, my young sisters. . Food is the communication tool of choice for Latter Day Saints. How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in todays increasingly toxic world? Why shouldn't women be those who teach about the glory of god that is woman? I am confident that a poll ofactive Mormons would show that Mothers Day sacrament meeting is, hands down, the one meeting of the year most fraught with difficulty for the people who attend. My wife and I were not in his ward to hear the talk, but he told us about it later. This talk was named after a phrase from Victor Hugo who gave all her food to her children, not because she is not hungry, but because she is a mother. Elder Holland talks about the central role motherhood plays in the gospel of Jesus Christ and gives many principles of comfort and courage for mothers who may be struggling. She told us that as a girl, she would sit in her room crying, with big welts on the back of her hands, but now that she was grown up, she understood why her mother did it, and she was grateful, by golly. So this year we are setting up tables and chairs in the gym, hauling in meat and cheese and veggies and chocolate, and the Bishop will talk for five minutes and then we will let everybody socialize while I play the tuba for the entire primary. I wish you were speaking in my ward! Mother's Day Singing Time Idea. Because I know the real story so it is distracting from the fake one that they are giving. End of rant. The Primary president asked him, as Chorister, to write a new song for the kids to sing in sacrament meeting on Mother's Day. I would be totally okay if they did nothing for Mothers Day at church. I was initially surprised he went that way, but I have to say although Ive occasionally heard people say they wish something were did, I heard many complaints every previous year that something was done about what that something was. He emphasized there is no one perfect way to be a mother and that every situation is different. Respect her. But in Argentina, where Mothers Day is in October, they also tended to recognize International Womens Day (March 8) even in church (in addition to a wide variety of other holidays Childrens Day, Grandparents Day, etc.). A break from the primary room!) Excellent suggestions, Mark. LDS Hymn Arrangements. I have had a lot of thoughts about Father's Day because my father passed away on May 23 about a month ago. Not wordingthat well. How did your Mother's Day Sacrament meeting turnout, Rockpond? The meeting isnt about me or you, or a missionary, or mother, its about the Savior and His atonement. Thats the last thing a mother needs, responsibility for yet another living thing. lol! I believe he has mellowed and gained wisdom over the years and was a part of a later bishopric. Still, I think the flak about Sister Becks talk is nonsense. How about honoring our mothers by not just focusing on what they do or have done for us (guilt trip for those that feel they never do enough) but focus on ways the members can help their mothers throughout each stage of their life. A friend once proposed a thought experiment. Well at least I know what not to talk about. My oldest, the musical and noisy one, composed parodies of many favorite primary songs about a decade ago when she was under the tyranny of those zealous but misguided young mothers. I guess plants are pretty and mothers are pretty. The hard part for me is when I hear talks about angel mothers where I actually know whom they are talking about. I explained that I was not calling any men to speak, due to their tendency to give perfect mother talks, and felt they could do a better job giving an honest uplifting talk that could be of benefit to the mothers in the congregation. . Sacrament meeting is for honoring and remembering the Savior, its not Fathers Day or Mothers Day, its the Saviors Day! Just a thought. If I would obtain the blessing, As the son of a mother who was destroyed every Mothers Day, and seeing many similar experiences here, I plan to stick to the Christ-centric meeting next year. Speaking for myself, I think Fathers Day is much easier. At least half the ward was so embarrassed for her at this point that they looked as if they wanted to crawl under the benches. Just to be clear - I meant 'written/given' by women (aka musical number "O My Father" written by Eliza R Snow, conf talk by Reeve/Oscarson/Okazaki). We know very little about HM and HF really. When we value families so strongly we should celebrate the roles of motherhood and fatherhood. from Pres. She discusses the divinity of motherhood and how every woman can become a mother in the world around her. 2. Too much idealism masks reality and can quickly become propaganda and lies. A nod to moms but no pedestal worshiping. I personally am skeptical of ever looking to people for ideals. What do you think should be handed out for Mothers Day? Worst Moms Day talk ever: when we (and most of our friends) were newlyweds, one of our friends (a guy) was asked to give the big glory of motherhood talk. Its always the wives. I have seen women leave the meeting in tears, and I know others who have learned, through sad experience, that it is best for them to take a break from church on Mothers Day. Since my husband gets to give The only thing I might try if I were in charge would be to put out pink, white, red carnations and safety pins and invite everyone in the ward to wear a carnation to honor their mother pink/red if shes living, white if shes passed away. We like to celebrate mothers in the Church and we like to ignore fatherhood. Elder Ballard mainly focused on young mothers in this talk from 2008. It is good to share personal stories, but be aware that your own family might be abit stranger than you think. What a nice gift for a Mom..hey, you guys have a great time!! And this is all in addition to the everyday problems like getting the bills paid and the laundry done. Great post, Mark! Great, and I was just asked to talk on Sunday, I guess I will be very careful. Mothers Day was pure torture and the only time I ever serious entertain thoughts of staying home. "We express our love to those in this congregation and our prayers for the victims and their families. But Ive also read this: 40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. We also have free LDS program covers and printable LDS program covers you can print off at home. She loved us unconditionally heart and soul. Only for the second time he also included a segment about how if his wife was a better homemaker maybe his kids wouldnt have such screwed up lives. I dont think it would occur to anyone to give a man a plant for Fathers Day *, but its very common to give women plants for Mothers Day. Mormon women are harder on themselves than any other group of ladies I have associated with. However, I am concerned about the implications of a people where the female population dislikes the concept of motherhood or at least dislikes it enough that they do not want to celebrate Mother's Day. lesson about prayer. Needless to say he was not asked to speak in sacrament meeting for a long, long time. Avoid speaking of angel mothers. Our current Bishop decided not to do anything for mothers day. Beware the philosophies of Hallmark, mingled with scripture. lol. Uchtdorf. Flowers were also given to anyone who wanted to wear one in honour of their mothers. Im finding actual motherhood so exhausting that I just cant bear to hear about angel mothers right now. One of her favorites: Im so bad when daddy comes home, Why does the church HAVE to be a part of it? A cookie in a baggie? Less than nothing because the message of such a gift is that the person is not important. I've done this in past years but always enjoy the new ideas from the participants here As I plan our Mother's Day Sacrament Meeting, what have been your favorite talk topics for Mother's Day? Alece 100 it is a bit rich for you to interpret that your comment and that quote by Lewis mean the same thing. Not all women can become real mothers. Glad as I can be Most detested thing, 3rd hour chatting and eating. There are diabetic men, arent there? Not at church anyway. Yeah. And Im batting clean up. They really did. Your ward contains women at various stages of their lives, including some who dont have children and never will. a large group) sang to the mothers. I know some women get upset because they arent mothers, but it doesnt bother me. In the garden He said, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death (Matthew 26:38). I hope none of you mind if I quote from this. Honoring Fallen Parents: The Fifth Commandment and Romans 3:23 The Fifth Commandment enjoins: "Honor thy father and thy mother." And, even worse, we are also cutting them off from the grace and redemption that Jesus offers. It appears that we have adopted the perverted sense of inclusion to such a degree that we cannot mention our gratitude for our mothers and motherhood without "hurting" or "marginalizing" those who are not mothers. Your comment was excellent, especially this part: Jesus the Messiah wasnt just sinless, He was God. It was a powerful meeting and very real. If youre already perfect, who needs it? Mrs. Gui, All the little Guis and their little Guis, the violin, photography, Prokofiev, Mahler, Terry Pratchett, Patrick OBrian, Umberto Eco, sci-fi and fantasy, Brigham Young, playing Bluegrass with real Kentuckians. In this case it will likely be mothers, and the Primary kids will sing, too. More importantly, what impact does this conscious attempt to devalue motherhood within our community have on the future of the family? especially when there are clear re-phrasings and clarifications. I plan to skip church on Mothers Day morning to visit my mother in the home and I will receive my Masters Degree that afternoon! Mark, This post was positively Uchtdorfian! This reflects a very different image than the one we portray to the world about our values and what we say means the most to us. Im asking this out of genuine curiosity/responsibility for handing stuff out. They would eat honey cakes and give flowers. Theyre all very good, and not being critical, but Hallmark w/ scripture would seem to be one way to describe the style of Pres. No, an inclusive talk will be about current and eternal womanhood, one part of which may including being a biological mother in mortal life. Cannot load blog information at this time. Why? Heres my updated version: Im so glad when Daddy comes home, It makes my heart sad to see that the men arent recognized and given something however small it may be. Or better yet, teach their classes and let them attend RS for a day? Trust her. Well, you dear women, I say thanks to you. Not within an hour of reading this post did I get a call from a member of our bishopric asking me to speak on Sunday. My grandmother is my ideal of both a woman and a mother, but she was married to an alcoholic so I understand if she is not the ideal for others. I would love tohear from you. It hits pretty close because Im one of those lucky people who get to speak on Mothers Day this year. Some of the stories were simple acts of kindness and some were extraordinary examples of love and sacrifice. At the end of the survey there was a comments box where individuals could leave specific feedback to bishoprics that organize Mothers Day. I do think a lot of Mormon women enjoy talks that validate their efforts at motherhood, and I think some of these talks get interpreted as angel mother talks when theyre really not. I think its good to have something to air at! We should not celebrate anything unless it is universally acknowledged around the world. I like the idea of a simple gift for those in attendance. Ancient Romans and Greeks would celebrate Cybele / Rhea, the mother of the Gods with festivals in the spring time. Thanks, kc! On the road this week I attend Mother's day services with the fourth ward in St George Utah. This morning I decided to Google search Mothers Day LDS talks and came upon this article. I think she says that just because she is my mom. Part of this ordinance is a promise to remember Him always and a witness of individual willingness to take upon oneself the name of Jesus Christ and to keep His commandments. Come on. I think this can be especially true for women who feel theyre just holding on. There are sins that need confessing; I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation.. Feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness, anger, disappointment, abandonment, and not measuring up to impossible expectations are prevalent. Men tended to speak about angel mothers who bore no resemblance to mine. It seems sometimes that activity organizers believe somehow that no one will participate if not bribed by pizza, pop, potato chips or pie. For those who disagreed with my thoughts (above) about our needing ideals to aim at in our lives, I fell upon a quote from C.S. It was a nice meeting. But as for now no praise deserved but the praze to the heavenly Father. But since youre not, Im bowing out this year. Thats the last thing a mother needs, responsibility for yet another living thing. Actually now that I do have children, the primary song Im so glad when Daddy comes home has taken on a new meaning for me. He chose to base his talk on To The Mothers In Zion, and used it to essentially chastise and condemn working women, and it sent half the ward fuming into the bishops office. Then the clincher, it is only for women to celebrate and they need to be left alone to celebrate it as they demand and see fit. This is Elder Hollands second appearance on this list of LDS talks on motherhood. Doesn't it seem strange in a religion that supposedly is so family focused that we have people who ignore the cries of many of the women in church who want to be mothers and can't be or who sorrow over children who are not making good eternal choices? I recommend that you take President Eyrings approach and assume that the women to whom you are speaking are doing their best, but that often their very best means just barely hanging on. Well, I wont bore you with all the mediocre talks over the years, I will just tell you that the best song for MD from the primary children was Armies of Helaman. This post should be required reading for all Mothers Day speakers. At my ward the angel mothers were to aspire to. My husband told me to stop focusing on myself and think about who mothered me instead. I accidently hit the quote button and so nothing is there..you guys can fill in the blank.. My wife and I will be on an Alaska Cruise. It is Mother's Day and yet the day is supposed to about everything about women EXCEPT being a mother. Any suggestions as to what you would truly and realistically appreciate being presented? We are confabbing about how to turn the tables on Hallmark. Is this our Sharon Haynie from DN branch? first adult speaker: Motherhood is like a roller coaster: there are lots of ups and downs, and sometimes you just have to close your eyes and scream., second adult speaker, quoting a Native American proverb: The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears., benediction, by a former Bishop: Heavenly Father, we speak with thee every day, and we look forward to the day when we can renew our relationship with Heavenly Mother.. From all accounts, her talk was very well received. by Leading Saints | Apr 27, 2016 | Articles, Bishops, Elders Quorum, Relief Society | 21 comments, In 2016 Leading Saints conducted a survey about ward mothers day gifts. To find a ward near you, try the Meetinghouse Locator, which will also provide sacrament meeting times, driving directions, and contact information. " Cogito! Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their . The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. I dont mean to be rude, but I know I will have anxiety over killing it and then I *will* kill it and then I will have to look at its dead body. Im amazed that we arent using the most recent conference materials . Thanks for reminding me so I can stay home. Lewis moments ago which speaks directly to those thoughts: It falls short when it is not delivered with love, patience, acceptance, humility, an understanding of the limitations of REALITY, and the the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I believe the best thing a man can do is not to love his wife in word, but to help her find and be and become whatever she truly wants to be and become outside of her role as mother. Her mother didnt come across as being perfect, but rather imperfect but faithfully trying, and her simple persistent efforts turned out to be eternally valuable. This was very informative and interesting. Idealsno, no maam not for me. Daughters of God Diversity and Unity in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Environmental Stewardship and Conservation, Joseph Smiths Teachings about Priesthood, Temple, and Women, Peace and Violence among 19th-Century Latter-day Saints, The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage, Translation and Historicity of the Book of Abraham. And home teachers were not comfortable giving flowers or candy to a single sister. The first speaker was a single father, then the bishop spoke, then the stake president spoke. She only did half the things a good mother would have done. This is a tradition of man, and sometimes it is just a bad idea. It was both simple and profound. Im sort of hoping that the person before me goes too long and I have to wrap up with my testimony. Then they would close by saying that it was the most wonderful blessing imaginable. I have been given mostly free reign on my message. But I certainly enjoyed the beauty of the whole situation and was very glad to see so many young peole in the Church on Sunday. As a mother of six kids, Ive had some serious depression about motherhood in general over the years but not usually on Mothers Day. And dont even get me started on the Are We Not All Mothers tripe. Although Mothers Day is not fraught for me the way it is for so many, I will be watching with interest next Sunday to see which way our meeitng falls. This ordinance is an essential part of worship and spiritual development. If they give out a plant that I can put in the ground, Ill be sad to miss that, though. A later version of the holiday occurred in Europe where they would celebrate the Mother Church (the church as the bride of Christ and as the mother of their spiritual rebirth through baptism) and they would decorate the church with flowers and jewels. I am understanding your POV. So far, so good. Being there with my son was very nice. Im asking this out of genuine curiosity/responsibility for handing stuff out. No talk is necessary, but a simple acknowledgement of our love for all the women in our lives is nice. Is this really the Mothers Day message I need? May your prayers be answered and your hopes and dreams become realities.. Personally, I go to church to learn about Jesus and Christ like attributes. Many times, it seems bishoprics want to put women on a pedestal for a day, while trying not to offend anyone. Others must be killed or theyll live forever, injuring regular folk. My wife spoke on Mothers Day (which I originally thought was a bad choice, because she herself appears to the outside world to be the perfect mother) about her own mother and some of the simple things her mother had done for her that made a big difference in her life and how grateful she was. This past Mother's Day we arrived late to sacrament meeting due to a cobbling mishap in the morning. It is a simple answer, and it is trueThe most important thing a father can do for his [daughter] is to love [her] mother.'. On the night before His Crucifixion, Jesus Christ met with His Apostles and instituted the sacrament (see Luke 22:1920). I cant remember the last time I heard a bad sacrament meeting talk, period. Gospel Q&A: How Can I Find and Foster Celestial Love? If So, Should We Pray Out Loud? Up til now, I have endured going because I thought I had to. Aleah Ingram Re-reading my comment (101) it sounds very harsh even though that is not how I mean it to sound. Mother's Day is a special time to say thanks to the women in your life. If you want to hear from real women who haveread scriptures andheld FHEand family prayer, but whose son is in jail or whose 16-year-old daughter is pregnant or whose husband has left her, then you should meet in the cultural hall. What does this mean about women? That was the job of the family, and for single sisters, the home teacher. Ere the sun goes down. Being Mother's Day, that meant the soft seats up front were filled with grandmothers and other maternal figures visiting for the weekend, which meant latecomers like the Lemons got metal seats in the back this week. If you want to hear about angel mothers and perfect people, remain in the chapel. It just screamed, whoops, we forgot to order flowers in time and ran out to walmart last night and bought up whatever womanly thing we could find. Doesn't seem strange in a religion that supposedly is so family focused? I dont think sacrament meeting is such an inappropriate place to do that, either. I love her and think she did a great job with the limited resources she had. Below, youll find an excerpt from each talk and a link to the full text. How about we don't celebrate either at church, but celebrate it in our homes with our mothers and fathers? I am infertile, though I now have three children through adoption. could have had us all come to earth as adults, but instead we came as infants needing 24 hour care to survive; there must be something we need to learn from being dependent on parents, and 4) share some motherhood quotes. This year in our ward we are having a missionary farewell for Mothers Daynot the old kind where the new missionary and all his/her family speak, but the new kind where the new missionary will be given a topic. Maybe the Hallmark channel should use some of his conference clips as fillers when movies end early. The fathers dont seem to feel as guilty about things as the mothers do,,,. THE major Mothers Day talk in Sacrament Meeting in our ward this week, I have forwarded all of this discussion on to him! . Which isnt necessarily a bad thing. Gospel Q&A: Can Satan Hear Our Prayers? I dont go to be honored or get a gift. The Spirits constant companionship is one of the greatest gifts of mortality. I think we should dispense with handing out things and tell everyone weve made a donation to a local womens shelter or program for mothers in need. Mothers Day is celebrated, and increasingly commercialized, but my impression of the local situation is that ones obligation to honor ones mother is largely discharged at home. rockpond I too am irritated by mother-worshipping in MD talks, but at the same time, I think many Mormon women identify so strongly with being a mother and so many have sacrificed just about everything to focus on that specific role, that they really appreciate a little validation, a little boost of confidence that what theyre doing is significant and has meaning.