This poor unborn child who I feel very, very sorry for already, is not the problem. Men cant choose to abort because biology dictates that the fetus is not in their body. Agree. There has to be a reason behind all this vitriol. theQuietOne After 2 months, I initiated for a comeback. . I just found out 4 days ago that my ex got a girl pregnant. It may not be widely known among the comment threads of womens advice blogs and other social hangouts but the family law bar is well aware of this issue. And finally , yes, I do think he should have some right to what happens to that pregnancy, and yes I do think that trapping someone by getting pregnant is repulsive, and so yes, I can understand his anger at the woman if that is what is happening. Contrary to what might be implied buy my other comments in this thread, Im not typically a proponent of abortions. I find it absurd that there is a debate about this guys right to have unprotected sex as if its ever a good idea. Come on, though Three times? But even though I led you to believe I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to have the baby anyway and thereby obligate you to two decades of support.. honeybeenicki Terrance Dean. If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. from the letter: Move on. -Wants nothing to do with his own child. Youre only asking for heartache down the road. Why would you disregard opinions that are based on the data thats actually there, and then defend yours which is based on a guess you made about people you dont know? Its just that all the other concepts that get us to the point of support arent gender blind yet. And oxygen. Does that change your opinion? This is usually created by one person chasing harder or desiring the person more. April 11, 2012, 8:04 am. All magically on the pill? Thats the responsible thing for anyone to do after having unprotected sex and before beginning a new relationship. It takes two to make a baby, and it doesnt seem like he was taking any precautions. Thats seriously not cool. Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. Remember we are hearing all this second or third hand. The court considers the psychological effects on the child before ordering support. According to this, then, a woman should have the choice of forcing the child, once born, onto the father, and then only paying child support for a couple of decades. And if so, Im ready. If I ever get pregnant and the dude wants nothing to do with the child, I will not force him. How about getting to know one another really well before having sex? Her body, her choice, he had NOTHING to do with it. Whatever you do, leave the future children or the pregnancy out of the equation when it comes to your relation. Recently he ended the affair and told this woman to have no further contact. Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. Ill have mine draw up the paperwork for licensing fees. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. Any complications from the abortion would be hers to bear, not his. 1.1K views, 24 likes, 7 loves, 2 comments, 9 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Shukla Gaming: Steve Wilkos ANGRY Moments Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. Focus on that though, and you are going to have a miserable life. I assume from the debate that this has become a fact that was inferred due to the women being on birth control. I totally agree with you for reasons you likely already understand. Um please feel free to disregard teh account representative, that may have been for something else haha. April 10, 2012, 5:53 pm, Women have figured that game out, and it sucks. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life?. It makes sense that she would do everything she could to convince us that this other woman wanting to keep the child is the worse thing ever because theyre obviously meant to be and this childs existence is a testament to the fact that their (former and/or current) relationship wasnt/isnt perfect. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. It was definitely his decision too. Last I checked being gay doesnt mean you are also a genius who never makes mistakes. A condoms like 50 cents. You can leave this dude, try to learn to live life on your own, try to show compassion toward your fellow women, and try to learn to identify unhealthy relationships straight away, before you find yourself embroiled in more soap-opera style theatrics. April 9, 2012, 5:17 pm. reader, Silent wing+, writes (10 February 2010): A I ended up feeling sorry him, and I started talking to him again, but2 weeks laterhe said the pregnant girl was threatening to hurt herself and he was going to be with her and that he cared too much about her and his unborn child to not try to work it out. Now I'm happily married and live in Orlando. If a guy wants absolutely to avoid becoming a father, he is responsible for using additional BC or not having sex with women if he doesnt know what their stance on unintended pregnancy would be. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR BOYFRIENDS PROBLEM. You have the proof he banged her and now they have a child together. Steve Kellmeyer Some of the best advice my mom ever gave me way back in the day was Listen. A I dont know what to think or believe. If a man has sex with a woman he should be prepared for the possibility that it could result in child support payments. Start sinking down in the gutter, and no, Im not going to follow you there. April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. Thats my advice. They should act responsibly. Ive done that on a number of occasions. when i was single i acted as if the other people i was involved with werent thinking about it. April 9, 2012, 4:59 pm, FancyPants Having the right to do something OBVIOUSLY doesnt mean its always a good idea. It's like she's a completely different person. Im only speaking on speculation, of course, since I was not a part of the situation and only heard about from him. That still has no impact on my main points. In the state I live in, you can leave a baby (or even child I think) in a church or hospital if you do not want the child and you will not get in any trouble for it. female Part of the agreement was they he was to never have any contact with the child. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? This doesnt arise from the rights of the mother. Guys definitely think about their ex sexually. Womans body, womans choice, womans child, NEVER is it the mans child. Yet when it came to her most recent boyfriend, John . The laws are imperfect because the biology of men and women is different. But not usually. As Ive gotten older shes told me more details about the situation (they were tenants in the same complex working towards professional education [law and med school] and both around age 30; I was a surprise and he was more dedicated to completing his education, while she wasnt upset that she would be a mother sooner. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. And guess whatthe potential consequences came to life, quite literally for him. That isnt misogyny. landygirl If you cant handle the though of having a baby, you take precautions (condoms, birth control, vasectomy, abstinence even) and when babies happen, because they do even with protection, you take responsibility for it. Like its a big shock that birth control can fail, that people can lie about using birth control, that women get to choose whether they want to keep their children and that he law requires men to financially support their children whether they want them or not. April 9, 2012, 12:53 pm, He might very well be an immature asshole. Ok.you were on a breakhe met some women club and after 2 minutes decided to have sex with her (which people do Im not against a 1 night stand).but he doesnt throw a condom on because shes on the pill (so hes not protected from STDs and he has no verification shes actually using the pill responsibly)..and if that level of irresponsibility isnt enough, he ahem finishes the job inside of her! We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I havent, and even though I am 110% pro-choice, Im not sure if its something I could actually do. ele4phant She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. What a joke. Do something to not have one! April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. But there is a happy ending to this story. If youre a man, your time to prevent having a child is when you have sex and decide how to protect yourself. That is really fucked up. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. I mean for fuck sake? You dont ask women to have abortions unless youre scum. He wants nothing to do with her OR the baby? Hes not a victim, unless she raped him. 6napkinburger He can bang the neighbor, the lunch lady, and his friendly neighborhood bartenderwhoever. April 9, 2012, 12:29 pm. You want to work on your social skills. I'm still contemplating because if my boyfriend finds out, I'm afraid he'll leave me. But again the adoption makes that all moot. I mean, seriously. Landygirl, I think we should stop feeding the trolls. Jimmy has made his choice. He isnt what is best for you. Nobody wants to refute what John says in his first post. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. A mans legal obligation to support his children is not some well hidden secret and nowhere is it mentioned that hes being asked for anything more. Everyone I know, including myself, that is not ready to have a child uses a condom or doubles up on protection, or makes sure that the pill is taken on damn regular basis. Welcome to parenthood. You have to grow up and stop this childish immature desiring for a man who keeps you hanging around. And _JSW_, if youre reading this too, thanks for an interesting evening. (yes, I know, lifes unfair). What I see is a huge surge of anger at the guy and all sorts of reflections on what type of person he must be, and relatively little anger towards the woman, whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct. reader, iz07a+, writes (11 March 2010): A illinois obituaries 2020 . And because a mans physical committment to the pregnancy ends after coming, the woman gets to make the call. He sounds like bad news. The point is that no one cares about your guesswork, sunshine. It hurts me that he will have to go through his first child experience with someone else while I watch. I know Im not, but thats mainly because Im in a foul mood and feel feisty. They are all pointing out that the bf is equally responsible for the childs existence and should respect her right to choose.Not only that but they advise the LW to consider her bf role in this drama and not take her anger out on the pregnant woman (who owes her nothing), John Rohan But, it would have reduced the chances. Just sayin. When he got back together with her, he should have had himself tested for STDs, which hopefully he did. * However, if you bang and get knocked up by tiger woods (quite possible given his standards) you will be set for life and hence a lottery win is born. April 10, 2012, 5:55 pm, Heterophobe, hmmm, thats new one. It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. Francine I came back to re-read because I was worried my reply would be disjointed and confusing (I wrote it tired last night, with a fever), so Im glad that while its not going to win any literary award, it wasnt totally nonsensical! Believe it or not, but a bedpartner with a scintillating personality is not a prerequisite for the male orgasm: its possible to have and enjoy sex with somebody who you nevertheless regard as entirely obnoxious and devoid of LTR potential. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. It really doesnt help the LW at all and doesnt belong here but here we go. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. The argument is that Im on birth control. is not the same as I will not get pregnant from this sexual encounter. You know how babies are made. But the kid is coming, and if your BF is a decent guy, he *should* be there for his child (if he doesnt come around eventually, you may need to consider if hes someone worth being with). God, Im so glad someone else thought of that word when reading this letter because Ive used that word exactly three times in my life as an insult, and yet I couldnt quit thinking it. He says it's a mistake and just did it to forget me. I dont think the actual equality is as you think it is, but even if I agree that it is, it has nothing to do with what happens early on in a pregnancy. My inclination would be to run away from this guy as fast as you can. If it were me, Id stay FAR away from someone as seemingly immature and callous as your exand Id get myself to therapy to deal with my OWN immaturity and callousness. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. I (28F) found out that my boyfriend (30M) is talking to another girl, just a day after we broke up (no proper closure). "Cry, vent and . Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. Itll take work and patience, but he CAN be a father to the baby, and a partner to you.. I agree with you, as well. Flexxie April 9, 2012, 10:29 am. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt.! And yes men create children. Or you think that landygirl does that? That is lie fed to naive girlfriends/wives. just my opinion. I said there and I think it bears repeating here: you have no right to assume the woman you are having sex with has the same views on abortion as you. But, they both had lawyers. Fine. If youre going to have sex with someone you are not in a relationship with, be prepared that a *pregnancy* might happen. As for the whole mans right to not be a parent to a child thing, I agree with _jsw_. It doesnt matter whether he wants to be with this woman or not, your boyfriend made half of this baby and has an obligation to be a father figure to it. Also he could argue in court that the EXs fiance has taken on the role of father and the child would be damaged to find out that the fiance is not really the father. evanscr05 Who knew? I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. He can have an opinion about her but its absurd to be mad at her because they created a baby. 2. Dump this creep. And since shes the one with the baby in HER uterus, theres not a whole lot you can do to force her to have the abortion or stop her from doing so. personalized pride flag picrew, lolly shop onehunga, how to transfer toca world to another device,
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