A: Fort Knox. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? toilet is stopped up? Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . grenade? jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? The Question: Name six fictional T.V. A: Gunga din. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. B. A: "Yes man." , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: Double hernia. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Carnac the Magnificent. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. "Knickerbocker"Q. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. Johnny would don an . Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! . The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. A: The CIA. Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. Function: require_once. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Box 4, Folder 47. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby his neck? ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. A: High rollers. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? The segment included several running gags. A: Never on Sunday. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. A: Old wives tale. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Return to Humor Page However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. A: Rat pack. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." Ed McMahon: Shogun. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. Carson Caucas 1984. bathroom? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php questions having never these envelopes, The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. stops. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? Key'n'Stroke. The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. skirt. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? A: Until he gets caught. . ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. a #2 mayonnaise A: Grape Nuts. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. envelopes. Commissary. (Wait for it! I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." 200 views, 3 upvotes. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Paul? , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush Is that a reptile? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Or are you just happy to see me? A: Fun with Dick and Jane. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. alley? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. us? Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . (crowd cheers). ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Click image to enlarge. A: Rosy red cheeks. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? The book is {\it May You! A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Bible belt. (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. Question Man". Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. A: Kaleidoscope. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Shriver. Watch now: Free with ads. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Next. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? car? A: Damnation Alley. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. juice? "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . NO ONE! , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? I hold in my hand these NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to . , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). ED: Certainly worth waiting for Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). . Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Q: How do you get it? [1] 1952? May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. A: Short eyes. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. The Question: Name three famous puppets. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Only this curse was not humorous at all. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Box 4, Folder 46. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. A: The Laughing Policeman. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your . Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. A: Fit to be tied. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? shorts. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. Related Topics. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. The Answer: They found no brain activity. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. up your turban. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Hand made. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only A: Mount Baldy. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? nowadays. The character was introduced in 1964. work? Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? Line: 24 A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell proctologist. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his View all. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Where should you address all your mail? Is that about right, sir? What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? lizard. [1] MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. prune juice? 2006 | CC. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. Screenkey. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A: Ben Gay. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. . Get Image Page 1 of 4 parents. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Tell a friend Ask a question. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. . Line: 479 stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer seats. A: Old wive's tale. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. . contest. A: An unmarried woman. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. . Q. A: Ransack. A: "Oh God!" Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. A: The Orient express. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? [1] After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. The character was introduced in 1964. Prime Video. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny.
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